The moment it all changed
All was going well in the first 20 weeks of the pregnancy. I was active, fit, with very little morning sickness. I was happy and just glowing! I was so thrilled that I was carrying my baby boy! ( Because somehow I knew he was a boy before we found out!) The day we went in for our 20 week scan it was rainy out. My husband had taken the day off so he could see the first glimpse of our baby and be there to find out if it was a boy or girl. We drove to the appointment and got there early because we were so excited. We sat in the car and watched the rain until about ten minutes before the appointment. We went in and filled out the paperwork as usual.
We had to go to a different office down the hall for our ultrasound, as they didn't have the equipment at my midwives office. We met the sonographer and got to work. They measured all the arms and legs. We counted ten little toes and fingers.Yes, we saw that it was a boy, as he had no shame about showing off. I could not stop smiling as we sat there and watched our baby moving around, squirming, and rolling in my belly. Then the ultrasound started to drag. The sonographer kept saying she was having difficulty seeing part of his heart and was just trying to get a better glimpse at it. After about two hours of ultrasound the sonographer left to go show the doctor the pictures. All normal procedure.
We sat there for 15 minutes waiting for the doctor to come in. As every minute passed the more concerned we grew. I remember my husband squeezing my hand occasionally in his everything is okay kind of way, even though I could see on his face the same thoughts of worry were going through his head.
Then the doctor came in. Or i should say doctors. We were greeted by a sonographer, the OB doctor, a student doctor, a geneticist, and my midwife from down the hall. I remember my midwife came over a placed her hand on my leg and looked at me with sad eyes. I looked around the room and was overwhelmed by the amount of people just staring at me. Then the doctor began to talk. I remember my eyes only being focused on her. Everything else was blurry. I remember her saying something about the anatomy of the heart. There was something wrong, things were in the wrong place. She said they would do an amniocentesis to check the genetics to know if there was anything else wrong with him.
I told my husband to call my work and tell them I would not be in that day. He called both of our works while the doctor left to go get the needles for the amnio. My midwife came over and held my hand while I sat in shock still in the same place I so naively sat down in 3 hours earlier. I could not have prepared myself for the next two hours still to come that day in the doctors office.
We had to go to a different office down the hall for our ultrasound, as they didn't have the equipment at my midwives office. We met the sonographer and got to work. They measured all the arms and legs. We counted ten little toes and fingers.Yes, we saw that it was a boy, as he had no shame about showing off. I could not stop smiling as we sat there and watched our baby moving around, squirming, and rolling in my belly. Then the ultrasound started to drag. The sonographer kept saying she was having difficulty seeing part of his heart and was just trying to get a better glimpse at it. After about two hours of ultrasound the sonographer left to go show the doctor the pictures. All normal procedure.
We sat there for 15 minutes waiting for the doctor to come in. As every minute passed the more concerned we grew. I remember my husband squeezing my hand occasionally in his everything is okay kind of way, even though I could see on his face the same thoughts of worry were going through his head.
Then the doctor came in. Or i should say doctors. We were greeted by a sonographer, the OB doctor, a student doctor, a geneticist, and my midwife from down the hall. I remember my midwife came over a placed her hand on my leg and looked at me with sad eyes. I looked around the room and was overwhelmed by the amount of people just staring at me. Then the doctor began to talk. I remember my eyes only being focused on her. Everything else was blurry. I remember her saying something about the anatomy of the heart. There was something wrong, things were in the wrong place. She said they would do an amniocentesis to check the genetics to know if there was anything else wrong with him.
I told my husband to call my work and tell them I would not be in that day. He called both of our works while the doctor left to go get the needles for the amnio. My midwife came over and held my hand while I sat in shock still in the same place I so naively sat down in 3 hours earlier. I could not have prepared myself for the next two hours still to come that day in the doctors office.
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